Thursday, September 19, 2013
The wages of sin
I read about a 12 year old that committed suicide recently. She was the inspiration for this.God bless her soul.
She was wearing her favorite socks, the Hannah Montana ones. She was so very hungry. She walked past him on her way to the backyard but kept walking. She didn't need him, she wouldn't be hungry any more. Today at school she had hugged Mrs Moses very tight. Nobody understood her friendship with the cleaner. It was just one more way she had become weird to them. Titi was angry with her for not returning her eraser, but she hugged her too. Titi was her seat mate.
She got to the backyard and climbed on the keg. Mummy and daddy were still shouting inside. They were shouting when she got home. They were shouting as she walked to her room and then back out. They had been shouting the night she went outside the house to sit by the gate. She put her head on her drawn up knees and then encircled them with her arms. She wanted to sleep, she had to wake up early for school, nowadays that they were too busy shouting it meant she had to trek.
She tied the rope like she had seen the P.E teacher do it. First to the tree, then in a circle.
He opened the gate and it woke her. He had at first thought it was a thief. Then "Ahan, Dara, what are you doing sleeping by the gate ?" He looked towards the Landlord's house and understood why. They were at it again . How would the poor girl sleep? "Oya come inside, come and sleep in my house" . They got in, and he asked if she wanted to eat. The poor girl hadn't been fed by her mother who was too busy bickering with her husband. He cooked Indomie and gave it to her. She almost swallowed the plate. This was no way for a nine year old to be treated. "Thank you Uncle Chima, God bless you". But uncle Chima wanted to be thanked another way.
She put the noose around her neck. Mommy never cooked any more, for her, or herself, or daddy. The one time she asked for break money it started another round of shouting so she never bothered. Mrs Moses usually gave her a pack of biscuits at school. They were not sweet, they tasted like cardboard, but they were food. She was always hungry, and Uncle Chima always had plenty food, and plenty pain. But nobody noticed that she was limping.
She kicked out the keg from under her feet and the rope dropped , still managing to keep her feet off the floor. She had gone to church with Mrs Moses, and had been taught about sin. The wages of sin is death, that was the memory verse. The pastor had said there was no excuse for sin, Fornication was a sin. She couldn't repent, she was too hungry to. Finally she had an answer. God had told her what to do.
She didn't struggle with the rope. She didn't call out for help, she just couldn't wait to show God she was sorry. And to not be hungry anymore. " I don't know what I am still doing in this ......" The sentence was punctuated by a heavy slap. Those familiar sounds were the last Oluwadara Hopewell heard .